Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Walmart at 8:00 a.m.

So there I was in Walmart at 8:00 a.m.  I was only there because Target was closed.  Or not open yet.  Not really closed.  “Closed” implies permanence.  I’m sure Target opened at some point today.


But there I was in Walmart at 8:00 a.m.  I was not sitting at my desk, gleefully whipping out world-shaking Visio diagrams for the case management system project.  I was not running through error rate statistics until my eyes watered.  I was not kicking the new copier, which would rather jam than copy anything. 


No, there I was in Walmart at 8:00 a.m.  Contrary to recent police reports of armed mischief in the parking lot, I was quite safe.  Nobody mugged me, carjacked my vehicle, or even asked me for spare change.  Don’t I look like I could possibly have a nickel or two rubbing a hole in my purse lining?


Maybe not, with that enormous coffee stain on the leg of my pants.  But I was rewarded by the discovery of a clearance rack, and even better, the pants that I thought would be too tight turned out to be too loose.  And I was able to return to my desk and pound out so many online supply orders for all the offices that the person who approves them in Admin e-mailed me and asked if I was done shopping yet.


My reply?  “Never.”


Apparently, I can find myself shopping anytime, anyplace.  Even 8:00 a.m. on a Wednesday isn’t sacred anymore.