Doggie Blues

Dear: My Dog

Shut up. Just shut up. Shut up already!

Now, for the record, know that I love you and your big swimmy brown eyes and graying red fur. I love the way you hop around on your arthritic legs and wag your tail ferociously. I love a little less the way you yap at trains and birds who have done nothing at all to you except stare at you with beady eyes that gleam of carcasses...okay, go ahead and bark at those.

Now, the trains, they don't care about your barking. Only I do. Please stop.

But it's not your barking that brings us to the vet tomorrow morning. It's the animal control man who nicely ran you in his computer and came up with nothing. You are licensed, but in the wrong city. Okay, maybe that did expire a couple months ago. Your shots are current, but the animal control people want new ones, anyway.

Because they do, that's why.

So, when the needle pierces your skin, remember that it's not my idea. It's my money, but not my choice.

And tomorrow night, you can bark at as many trains as you like.

Love, the Food-Giver